COLLARD GREENS AND BLACK EYED PEAS

Happy New Year 2009

I don't know if greens and black eyed peas and pork are just a southern thing or not. Hubby cooked a pork loin, opened cans of collard greens and black eyed peas. Everything was fine except for the peas. I don't like most beans or peas in a can because they are too dry. The greens were something I had purchased a while back. They were seasoned perfectly and even had a smoky flavor. I rarely do the veggie in the can thing. I prefer fresh or frozen. I informed him last night that this is the meal for New Years day not eve. He begged to differ. I didn't argue.

So I had black eyed peas, not the ones above, and greens for breakfast to get a head start on luck. No one else will eat the greens. They don't care for them too much. I couldn't find the pork loin so I assume it was all eaten last night. I do have Canadian bacon in the fridge so I will eat some of that to help boost my good luck for 2009. As if.

I don't cook meals that often anymore. I end up working so late that the kids have to eat before I could prepare something most times. When I do cook I cook a lot. Sometimes I get in the kitchen and make chicken and sausage gumbo, meatloaf and roast a couple of chickens. I don't cook enough for one meal. I generally cook enough of each for 4 or more meals. I freeze portions and hubby can pull whatever he likes out of the freezer.

I am not a meatloaf fan but he is. So I have learned to make it where I can tolerate it and put extra things in to make sure the kids are getting secret servings of veggies. I usually start with 5 lbs of lean ground beef and add a couple pounds of ground turkey. I chop up celery, onions and garlic real fine and saute them in olive oil. I then put them in the meat mixture with chopped up mushrooms, oatmeal, Dales, eggs, salt, pepper and some crushed tomatoes. I like mine well done. He doesn't.

I was perusing blogs this morning. I noticed that some show their weekly menu. Are they for real? Everything sounded like something I would go out to eat. Meaning complex and not the normal fare. I know around here there are nights the kids get Tyson chicken nuggets and tator tots or fries with a veggie. They love it. Hubby does to because it is quick and easy. These children, well oldest grandson, would not eat some of those meals. He was not so picky when he was younger. Now he thinks he should eat at McDonald's or Burger King, depending on the toy. That comes from his mother working three jobs at one time. Drive through fast food was the norm.

Some blogs were discussing their 2008 and what they planned on doing in 2009. Well my 2008 was extremely depressing so I wouldn't want to bore anyone with all the gory details. All I can hope for in 2009 is for things to be better than 2008. I went through extreme phases last year being angry, depressed and feeling guilty for feeling angry and depressed. I would sometimes rotate through these emotions at rapid fire speed for hours.

What I dream about doing is living in the country, as long as I have high speed internet, and having a garden and peace and quiet. Leaning how to compost and dry veggies and other assorted "Mother Earth" things. I can do without the cable tv and other conveniences but I can't live without the internet. It isn't just for blogging or shopping. I work from home so it is a necessity. In case you haven't noticed yet I am a very impatient person. Using dial up is not an option.

My sister and I have discussed living on our family property in Louisiana. We figure if we get a small travel trailer to start we will be okay. I can hang with my sister because she doesn't talk much. I love people and I have to talk to them every day. Not have to as in forced to but must. I feel out of place if I don't talk to my bff's. They keep me sane. They let me bitch. They sympathize.

There are days when I stop working, sit in front of the tv and immerse myself into a show so deeply that I don't hear hubby speaking. Then I get a loud shout to pay attention. There are times when I do not want to talk. I don't want to listen either. I have started pausing, love that Tivo, and then start the show back. I think he gets it then that I don't really want to talk...or listen. Sometimes I want to scream...soon as I start a movie he starts wanting to talk. Hello...what is the point of watching the movie if you are going to talk the whole time.

I love my hubby but he has to be the most sensitive person in the world. It can wear you out living with someone that you have to watch everything you say because it will hurt his feelings. My girls have even said "he is such a girl". I don't mind solitude. I enjoy it. That is part of the reason I get up so early. It is my alone time. While everyone else sleeps it is just me. He can't stand being alone.

When I was in Dallas for nine months he hated it. I hated it. I hated it because I had no yard or outdoor area living in a hotel. The biggest thing I hated about it was the nightly phone call where I listened to him bitch and moan about Baby Girl driving him nuts or other things. He can exaggerate which is something I do not like. It got to the point that I dreaded the nightly call. Let me just say those calls made my life a fucking hell. One month before I came home I finally lost it. I couldn't take it anymore. One can only stand to listen to the same damn whining for so long. Months of frustration flew out of me and I hung up. At least he was at home, slept in his bed, had his own things and yard, etc.


Did I mention that I have no patience? Thought so. Although, if you think about that last paragraph you would think I was a very patient person. I am not. I am a kind and caring person. That is until you mess with me. I have had to warn some people not to mistake my kindness for weakness. Sometimes people want to mess with me, such as that psycho from work, but you usually learn rather quickly that I am not a pushover. I have a very strong aversion to someone trying to interfere in my life, personal or business.

Wow... where did all that come from? Oh right. It was from ME. I am a very strong woman. Not so much physically anymore but mentally I am fierce. Most people would have collapsed under the pressure I have been under the last year or two. Even hubby says I don't know how you do it. Hello...did I have a choice? It isn't like you can lay down, curl up into a ball and it will go away. And for the record, if he dealt with things it wouldn't all be on me. So there. As my mother used to say "Stick that in your pipe and smoke it".

Okay. So I obviously have some issues and anger that is coming out today. I truly wish for peace and harmony, the end to world hunger and war. I hope that everyone has an awesome 2009. Wow. I can't believe it is here.

Gotta go. I need chocolate. Oops...that would get me in trouble.... This chocolate....