Last night I was sitting in my chair thinking about subjects to write about in my post. I do this all the time but don't make it to the computer and type it out. I am one of those people that will suddenly think "Why was I thinking about that?" Then I will backtrack to figure it out. Does that make me certifiable?
The GM for the company I do work for was traveling yesterday and stopped for the night in Nachitoches, La. That started me thinking about that lovely place. It is a beautiful town that has brick paved streets and a river running through it. The big claim to fame is that Steel Magnolias was filmed there. I love that movie and I cry every time I see it.
I went to majorette camp there when I was about to be a Junior in high school. I had an absolute blast. It was my first time to be away from home other than sleepovers or staying with family. We had supervision but they weren't up our tails about it. I could smoke without too much trouble. My roomy got homesick. It was embarrassing. She boo hoo'ed like you would not believe. I had to leave the room to keep from laughing out loud. Geez.
Our head majorette was the sweetest person in the world. Her father was a Baptist preacher. He was very nice. She was not allowed to date at all. So she would spend Friday night with me and we would go out and meet friends. But the deal was if she stayed with me I had to stay with her on Saturday night and go to church on Sunday. Her dad was sly like that. Thought if he got that little hellion into church it would change her ways. It didn't.
While eating lunch at camp she put a jalapeno pepper on top of her salad. She thought it was a pickle. She didn't even eat the pepper. The juice that got on her salad sent her into orbit. She kept eating sugar to get rid of the burn. It didn't work. She finally went back to her room to lay down. Honestly....I thought she was a big puss.
Nothing could be hotter than my father's gumbo that he added five different hot sauces to. Umm...he would be close to drunk while making this so you get the drift. If your tongue touched your lips it felt like acid burn. My brother and sister would not eat it. Truth was it tasted good but it was too f'ing hot. My dad was a strange one on that hot sauce. He loved Tabasco. I have seen him put that in his milk, on his eggs and of course other foods. I thought that was way past bizarre.
My mother had her weird food things. She would eat pickled pigs feet. To me that was way beyond gross. I am gagging thinking about it. She would also eat chicken gizzards. I tried one accidentally. Who in the hell wants to try to chew this hard gnarly little organ of a chicken. Then there is cracklings. I think it is very hard parts of bacon skin. She would put that in cornbread. I can see people trying to eat that and having to rush to the dentist with a broken tooth.
I will try most things. I say most not all. I will not try the pickled pigs feet. I won't put Tabasco in my milk. I tried sushi. I don't really care for raw fish. It isn't bad but I don't go yum. I like the California roll. Mostly I love wasabe. I am an addict for that stuff. Talk about opening up your sinus. Watching the specials about the Olympics they showed an enormous variety of things that people eat. It may be delicious but I can't eat snake, scorpions, goat eyes, chicken wattles and cones. Blaaah
I just made myself a mimosa. Yummy. I have Andre extra dry. It doesn't come with a cork that pops off. It unscrews with a plastic cork. I have to say it is a lot easier to open than the traditional cork in champagne. I think if I were alone and had to have a mimosa I would be SOL. I can't get them open. I would be so frustrated. I once dug a cork out of a bottle of wine with a knife because I couldn't find the cork screw. Now I have a fancy smancy one that is so easy. You pull the lever and poof.... it is out. I love that thing. Not that I am a big wine drinker but I do love red wine in my French onion soup.
But I digress. You remember the comment about my crying over Steel Magnolias? Well I also cry during the scene where Shirley McClain is screaming for her daughters meds in Terms of Endearment. I have even cried over a commercial. You know the one. It is where the young soldiers are walking through the airport and everyone starts applauding. Gah. I know. But don't think I am a puss.
In fact the GM I mentioned has told me that I was a Hitler Bitch. I said "Thank you". He also told me I was a machine and I shouldn't expect the people I supervise to be able to do what I do. BS. You are half my age without all the stresses that I have and you can't keep up? Shame on you. I just have a very strong work ethic and I make sure things get done. I am kind of like a trouble shooter and quality control.
I monitor 5 people and all of the clients from a distance. They are in Dallas and I am in Georgia. I was in Dallas for 9 long long months living in a hotel. I had to hire all new staff because they were shutting down the office in Florida. I worked so much that it wasn't funny. I probably averaged 70 to 80 hours a week. We had a lot of turn over of employees that didn't want to work. Ahem. I don't tolerate that.
I hired this one guy and made sure he was aware of what had to be done. I had him and another new hire come in on a Saturday for training before starting on Monday. Well when he sat at that computer and looked at Outlook like it was a foreign language I wanted to scream. Hunt and peck at the keyboard. I calmed myself down and told myself to give him a chance. I took them to lunch and then came back for more training. The other employee was blowing it up. She was awesome.
Finally I took him outside and told him I was very sorry but I didn't think he could handle the job. I needed someone that could hit the ground running. He wanted me to give him a chance and I wish that I could have. I swear I was seeing my life flash before my eyes. This was self preservation. I felt like shit about firing someone the very first day especially when they had quit their other job. But as I said... it was self preservation.
There were others that were totally odd. One thought she knew everything and of course she didn't. Had to fire her. One turned out to be a raving lunatic. She started out great but I kept hearing that she just had her boobs done and was taking vicadin and just got braces. She was in her 40's and I guess she was trying to recapture her youth. She quit via email and I told her I was disappointed and obviously she wasn't the right person for that job. Well.... that did it. She sent nasty emails to everyone in the company. She told them all kinds of lies about me in those emails. They finally had to get an attorney to call her and threaten her if she didn't quit harassing people. She had me scared to walk to my car.
I love the one who after 3 days tells the other people that she has been known to go on strike if she didn't get proper training. That is it. You are fired. Actually, I made the person that they hired to do my job and be my supervisor do it. You got it .... MADE her. Then guess what......I had to fire her, my supervisor.
Okay. I have drank my mimosa. I think I am going to take a very well deserved nap. If you hear a loud noise it is me screaming for chocolate.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Last night I was sitting in my chair thinking about subjects to write about in my post. I do this all the time but don't make it to the computer and type it out. I am one of those people that will suddenly think "Why was I thinking about that?" Then I will backtrack to figure it out. Does that make me certifiable?
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Well I have been totally doing nothing productive for the last couple of days. Watching cooking shows, decorating shows and silly Christmas movies and sad ones too. Yep....I love my tivo. It is awesome. Since I don't sleep much I get up early and can watch shows all by myself drinking coffee that I didn't have time to watch when it originally came on.
Rachel Ray taught me to put ginger in the freezer for a longer shelf life and it is way easier to grate. It looks like crystals instead of the stringy mush I get normally. I thought that was awesome. I don't normally watch her very much anymore. After my attempt at a 30 minute meal that took a lot longer than that and was not that great....my opinion of her changed. Now Paula Dean always makes delicious looking dishes, even though they are not always very healthy. Her sour cream muffins are wonderful. Basically they are just tiny biscuits loaded with butter and sour cream already. Perfect for a brunch or breakfast guests.
I watched Nicholas Cage lose his love in City of Angels. The music always gets me. I watched Christmas with the Kranks and hell no....I would not give away my 10 day cruise to the Caribbean. That daughter would just have to make do.
Giada made things for a spa day. I don't think a basil smoothie sounds very good. She said how fresh and healthy it was. When you have a cup of sugar used to make simple syrup split between three smoothies it can't be very healthy. Tyler Florence used to be one of my favorite chefs until my prime rib on Christmas was so blah. We are going to see how we can fix that tonight. Now I wish we had just cut it up into steaks and grilled it. The only problem with that is I like medium rare and I rarely get that with hubby at the helm.
I watched Candace Olsen decorate a loft. She is my absolute favorite designer with her sparkles and introducing us to new products. She first showed me glass tile for the inside of fireplaces. Damn....I had just built my house and would so have put that in with the glass pieces in the bottom of the fireplace. It wouldn't have cost much more than the gas logs we purchased. Vern Yip is my next favorite designer. He used to make all the others on Trading Spaces look like they were rookies. His rooms always looked amazing.
I have been online a lot too. I have been reading blogs. It is very captivating to me how people will open up their lives for all to see. One woman in the Netherlands talked about having a personality disorder and being bi-polar. Wow.
I keep up with the news as well on the internet. This is a headline that caught my eye....Man sets up dentist office in kitchen; wine is painkiller;. Wonder how much he charges? He was discovered when he broke off a tooth he was trying to pull and the man ended up in the hospital. They seized a dentist chair, drugs and bloody instruments (say it with me...eeeeeewwwww) in his kitchen. He says he was licensed in Ecuador. Ummm I am not going there for dental work.
I really like reading the weird news sometimes. It can be entertaining and scary. The one about the CIA giving Afghan warlords Viagra for information was a little unexpected. And then there is the one about the dog who shoplifted a bone from a store in broad daylight. Go Fido.
Can you tell that I am procrastinating? My office is pure pandemonium. There are boxes in here from decorations and ornaments and where gifts were shipped. My dining room is just as bad. There are unwrapped but not opened gifts in there, empty boxes that toys came in. And everyone just walks past it. So...I am avoiding. But I am going to get off my ass and get busy. Sigh.......
Friday, December 26, 2008
I hope everyone survived. I was doubtful I would... I took a few photos although there were a large amount that weren't quite in focus. Probably due to my spirits of the alcohol kind.
We tried to make things special but it is hard when you are so busy, haven't completely unpacked everything and don't know where most things are. Granddaughter has never had a traditional Christmas with a tree. Her grandparents, she is my Baby Girls step daughter, are of some religion which will remain nameless that does not celebrate Christmas or birthdays. She has never had a birthday party. We were all set to do one when her "grandparents" demanded she come home. Blah... humbug.
The kids were so cute. They wrote letters to Santa asked for verification that he was real. Of course Santa verified them but I "dumb ass" didn't scan them before he wrote on them. And of course Santa had his cookies and milk.
Earlier that evening grandson #1 and granddaughter made a gingerbread house. They were so proud of themselves. They had a lot of fun. Hubby kept saying it is late and they need to get a bath and go to bed. I said I didn't care if they were covered in crud and didn't have a bath let them have some fun.
Christmas morning grandson #2, aka Baby Candy, got a Go Diego Go tricycle thing. He has not gotten off of it since without a fight. Poor thing can't reach the pedals but he pushes it everywhere and his vroom vroom can be heard all day long. I want to squeeze him.
I thought I would get all gourmet with Tyler Florence's prime rib. You can see that I had all my garlic chopped up and smashed, rosemary, horseradish, kosher salt. I was so oooh, it will be great. I love garlic. I love horseradish. I didn't take an after picture. I was so scared I was going to ruin this $50.00 chunk of beef because I was a little leery of the rosemary on it. Well, it didn't get cooked enough. Finally hubby said he could grill steaks off it for a few because it was way too rare. I like medium. You would think with all the things I put on it you would be able to taste it. Nope. Hubby said it was actually a little bland. What the hellllll.... so much for being all gourmet. Well at least my roasted asparagus and brussel sprouts turned out well.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Posted by SCREAMING FOR CHOCOLATE at 5:48 PM
I miss living near the beach. I used to live near Gulf Shores, Al. I love smelling the salt air and the smell of the different plants that grow on the beach. This painting is from a photograph I took of my daughters the first time they went to the beach. We lived in this huge two story house in Loxley, Al. The thing I liked about living there the most was the produce market two blocks from my home. Awesome fresh veggies except from December to February. I had grape vines, banana trees, blueberries and apples.
I miss my baby girl that is stuck at Ramstein because all the flights keep getting canceled. She is in a cheerful mood because right now it feels like an adventure. Earlier she thought she would fly into Charlotte, NC and rent a car. Then she thought it would be Washington state, wow. Now it is where ever they can get a plane to. We are still hoping for Charlotte and she will rent and share a car with her new friends that live in Florida. She was the sweetest little thing when she was small. This is her at 3. And this is her all grown up. I used to have that body....with less boobs. I was less gifted in that area... ahem.
But most of all I really miss are all the people that have left us. I miss my mother and father and especially my grandmother. I also lost my brother and my aunt who was like a mother to me this year. I really love some of these old pictures. My mother as a girl and my father as a young man in the Air Force.
And for your funny today...... Me eating dirt.....I obviously thought it was chocolate.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
My Baby Girl is coming home. We talked this morning and she is on her way to Ramstein to wait for a flight. Sugar baby the pooch is on her way and is flying commercial and will be in Atlanta tomorrow afternoon. You can't fly your dog military unless you are leaving permanently. Hopefully her and granddaughter will be arriving tomorrow night.
But even bigger news.... Baby Girl went for an exam and was told she is three weeks pregnant. Wow. We are all excited. Baby girl is going to have a baby. This is her first. Granddaughter is her husbands child. I wish I knew already what the sex will be. That way I could really get a jump on things.
Of course this means that my summer trip to Germany will be pushed to Spring. I want to stay at least a month and each weekend go to a different country. I want to go to France and Amsterdam and many other places. If I wait until Summer she will not feel like schlepping all over Europe. Then I will have to go back in August to be there for the birth and help my baby with her baby.
Yep. I baby my babies too much sometimes. I have had a few friends tell me that I need to let them do it on there own. Sorry. They are my babies and I can't help myself. Even though they are 25 and 27 they still want their mommy. God knows that if they need me I will be there.
I am so far behind. I am ashamed to say that we don't even have a tree up yet. No decorations, no lights. I am very ashamed. Hubby said he would get that stuff up Thanksgiving weekend. Never happened. Of course you know he was too busy to do it. What with all the football games and college basketball and whatever else damn sport happens to be on. These days you can't have a break in sports. They all bleed over into each other. He was even watching a high school game the other day. As if. Like it is a team he cares about.
I guess it could be worse. He could be out hunting and bringing home wild game for me to cook. Gag. I can't handle that. It makes me ill to think about it. I know a lot of people love venison and other in the woods animals but it is NOT my thing. I will eat fish but don't ask me to clean it. I don't have a clue. I have actually been fishing a few times but everyone knows that if you want me fishing you have to bait the hook. Yes this grown woman can't stand squiggly, squirmy bait. And I WON'T touch the fish.
And to think.....I want to live off grid. But that is when I become a vegetarian I guess. Unless I sneak off to the store for steak and salmon filets. But I do love me some veggies. And I love growing them even more.
Posted by SCREAMING FOR CHOCOLATE at 7:30 AM
Monday, December 15, 2008
Lots of people seem to have certain days dedicated to something specific on their blogs. I am not there yet. So I decided to have a Random Monday. After all we are just getting over our weekends right?
To say it has been an interesting morning is putting it mildly. All kinds of little goings on. I started out my diet this morning by drinking delicious tea. Then as usual things get weird and stressful and chocolate wins.
One of my clients sent me this massive, wonderful gift basket from Wine Country. OMG... tons of chocolate candies and truffles and brie and smoked salmon and beef log and blue cheese twists and chocolate covered pretzels and and and on and on. But no wine dammit. Good thing.... I probably would have been sipping first thing this morning. That would have meant an immediate nap. So really good thing.
I visited Miriam's site at http://farmsuitenest.blogspot.com/ Sorry for the tacky links... Hello....Techy Tard remember. I so want to be on a farm but not killing chickens like Katie at Katies Calamities. See her link in the last post. I saw a little sign on Miriam's blog about free backgrounds. The site is The Cutest Blog On The Block. I got the two cute signs to the right from them for FREE.... Go visit them and pimp out your blog... They offer other things as well. http://www.thecutestblogontheblock.com/index.php
I have been working on a few of the scrabble pendants this morning to take my mind off the real jewelry making. Gohhh... what a major block. I really should be working more...at my real job. It has been a little slow lately so I take a break every now and then to stare at the various findings, jewels and other things.
I got to squeeze my chunky grandson #2 when he was going down for his "happy nappy". I coined that phrase. He is so delicious. Baby candy. So sweet. A few weeks ago he was calling everyone Mama. He just got back from two weeks with his dad and now everyone is Dada. I love his little ways. He now says constantly "whazat" for what's that. It will be excellent if he retains 1/10th of what we answer to "whazat". He really kills me when he says "oooh baby". His newest one is "wooo wooo wooo" when he is excited. Kids are just too damn cute sometimes.... except when it is time for that loaded diaper. Gag. I have been using the "green" grocery bags for sometime now. I quit when we all moved in together. We need those disposable bags for double bagging those diaper bombs. Sorry Earth. We can't survive without them until he is potty trained.
I do my part. I recycle... Why as we speak I am saving my plastic water bottles to make a chandelier. Does that sound redneck? Well if it does I don't give a damn. I need a nifty awesome light for my back porch. I will post it for you to see once I have enough. And you will be jealous......... so there.
Posted by SCREAMING FOR CHOCOLATE at 1:54 PM
Sunday, December 14, 2008
About my blog...... I plan on having different pages for different things. One of them being my adventures in dieting and eating right and maybe some delicious low cal, low cholesterol and low fat recipes. I know... that is hard to do... give me some bacon. Yum. I will also add other things such as articles on interesting people I know, have met or just know from the Internet, myspace and blogs. I am planning a give away soon. It will probably be one of my jewelry creations or some of my delish fudge that everyone clammers for. Katie over at http://katiescalamities.blogspot.com/ said she almost blacked out over my comment about my marathon fudge making. You should swing by and tell her I said hello. She is very entertaining. I will let everyone know about the giveaway once I have moved to my new location http://www.screamingforchocolate.com/ .
I also want to mention the people I adopted my Oliver from. Keith and Janease Linenbrink own SassyK9's. Keith mentioned in an email that ever since Oprah had a show on puppy mills that it had hurt their business. I was just watching the animal planet when they had an excerpt on about it. Basically they said that anyone selling puppies on the Internet were puppy mills. This is absolutely false. While I am certain there are puppy mills selling online that does not mean that everyone that sells online is a puppy mill.
My Oliver is just over two years old. I have had him almost two years without one single problem or illness. Oliver went to the vet as soon as I got him and my vet said he was a very healthy well taken care of puppy. I did my due diligence on SassyK9's and was very pleased. They put their vet information and have lots of letters from happy adoptive parents on their site. So if you are looking for a loving cute little scruppy you should check out http://www.sassyk9s.com/ to see if they have the ideal baby for you.
I was scolded by baby girl last night. Mom....why haven't you posted anything lately? The truth is I have been unsuccessfully trying to move my blog to my dot com. I tried it once before without success and now I have tried again, without success. I had someone helping but the first attempt left my dot com linked to google. Sooooo I am waiting on the help desk of my host. Yep... tard for sure.
So baby girl is trying to come home this week. That will all depend on whether she gets 5000 things taken care of and can get Sugar, her adorable white dog, flown out on a commercial flight. She and the granddaughter are flying military and hopefully without constant delays since it is all standby.
She has started her own blog but only posted once. She is at http://www.drivinmisscrazy.blogspot.com/. Every time I hear the phrase "Driving Miss Crazy" I think about how it came to be. Big girl and baby girl can really come up with some crazy antics sometimes. Big girl was going to move the car and baby girl jumps in the back seat....don't know why. But big girl said "What do you think this is....... Driving Miss Crazy?". Well you would just have to know the relationship these two have to understand. Many times while driving home from work I wondered if I had enough cash to make it out of town and across several states before I was missed. The two of them and their fighting, playing and other escapades had me taking prozac. The only thing that kept me from running away was the guilt over leaving hubby alone to defend himself.
This is Big Girl and Baby Girl during a rare loving moment which I am sure was brought on by various shots of dark and mysterious liquors along with a dose of Red Bull.
Back when most people had only one phone line I had two. Somehow with two teenage girls they still managed to fight over the damn phone. Then to make matters worse they would each get on a phone line and call me about the other....at the same time....while I was at work. It was maddening. Then 30 minutes later they would call me giggling and snorting and acting like they were 10. So now you don't have to wonder why I was taking prozac. Actually I think it should be a requirement if you have teenagers.
So today I am chatting with baby girl while she is cleaning. I am also cleaning up my jewelry making mess. I can now see the work surface. So we were on the phone for probably a couple of hours. Sometimes we talked sometimes we didn't. Sometimes I got preoccupied with my task and half way heard what she was saying... sorry baby girl. You know your moma does that sometimes. Anyway I hear her say something about "she is licking her nipples". So I immediately think of Sugar the sweet dog but ask who. So then she says granddaughter is pulling her skin and licking her nipples. I think she was being sarcastic because I was so lame for asking who. But the truth is I never did clarify that.... Ewwww...... Let's just go with it was Sugar and I am an idiot for not listening closely enough. Besides....I think it is physically impossible for a child with no breasts to do that....unless she has a giraffe neck.
But I am very very excited and hope that they do make it home this week. It will be a house full. A house full of laughter, tears, probably a few squabbles and just a lot of fun too.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Starting tomorrow I will try to start eating healthier than I have been over the last few months. Stress has caused a lot of emotional eating. This usually involves whatever unhealthy snack is around for the kids. I normally eat very healthy. I love veggies, salmon and other good for you food.
I guess I will have to venture out into the yukky outdoors in search for my favorite petite or baby green beans that are fresh. I will live with frozen if I must. I love to steam them but not so much they are colorless and limp. I like them to still have some crunch. I saute chopped up garlic and sometimes green onions if I have them in olive oil. Once my green beans are steamed I then toss them in with the olive oil, garlic, etc., and then I will throw in a few sesame seeds if the mood strikes. I LOVE these.
I found fresh ones once at Sam's. There were two packages bundled together. Jackpot baby. I cooked them in my favorite way. Yummy. The next day I went into the kitchen and my hubby had thrown them in a pot of water and was proceeding to boil them into what I can't stand.... cooked to death, flavorless and mushy vegetables. I went into orbit. It would have gotten really bad if I knew a good criminal defense attorney. I don't know any. Needless to say his idea of cooking vegetables and mine are on the opposite ends of the spectrum.
My hubby is always trying to do nice things for me. However, it usually doesn't go over so well. It is like...I love you but don't. Like cleaning out the fridge. He threw away a bag of shelled pecans. "But they have been in there for years" was his defense. It was February and I had bought them in December when I was doing my marathon fudge making. That is when you "sigh" deeply and try to remember that in the scope of things it isn't so major. Frustrating...YES. But not major.
He has also made the mistake of trying to take over in the kitchen when I am cooking something. "I just want to help" he says. If it was really bad, like adding something he shouldn't have...then I turn it fully over to him. It is now his. I am done.
Sometimes I can't help but laugh about it. How can you be angry, at least for too long, at someone who only has good intentions. Actually it is very easy. I just try to leave the room before my anger shrapnel takes out someone.
You know....this is also a good time for chocolate........
Friday, November 28, 2008
I had a very relaxing day yesterday. Big Baby Girl ordered a fried turkey. I would rather have had a smoked one but she ordered it. When my hubby got home with it I was shocked at how small it seemed. Oh well. But for the cost of that turkey I thought we could have had great steaks. It isn't like I am this big fan of turkey. It really isn't my thing. I took a few snapshots playing around. It was fun. I have had this camera almost two years and I still don't know all of what it will do. I took some shots of DH, BGG and #1Grandson. Oh and my little boy Oliver. Best photos I have ever gotten of my little pooch. He is a trip. All in all we had a nice relaxing day.
I got up and made two pans of cornbread for my standard cornbread dressing. It is the most simple thing but my daughters seem to love it. I make the best buttermilk cornbread using a store bought cornbread mix like White Lilly or Aunt Jemima. I use buttermilk instead of milk. I add to the cooked and finely crumbled cornbread lightly cooked one large onion and several stalks of celery. I make a liquid mixture of two beaten eggs along with two boxes of low sodium chicken broth. I add pepper to that as well. I poor that in and mix all of it very well. To save time and washing dishes I do all of this in the pan I am cooking it in. I then add more broth if needed. I cover in foil and bake at 400 for an hour and then remove the foil and cook until it gets golden brown on top. Nothing fancy at all.
I made the standard green bean casserole. BBG (Big Baby Girl) made a dish called Spinach Maria and it was good along with a corn casserole. Basically this is what we had. Since we are all on crazy schedules we really didn't eat together. BBG and her friend ate, I had a small helping of everything later because the mimosas were starting to get to me. DH ate late in the evening. Same as he always does.
I took a few snapshots playing around. It was fun. I have had this camera almost two years and I still don't know all of what it will do. I took some shots of DH, BGG and #1Grandson. Oh and my little boy Oliver. Best photos I have ever gotten of my little pooch. He is a trip. All in all we had a nice relaxing day.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
FL Home Blog: Is it too early to give you your card?
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I have read several blogs with people making fun (I hope) of their family that is coming to visit. I have seen some that basically attacks their mothers. I know that it is probably just to make for entertaining reading. I find it amusing but at the same time it makes me uncomfortable.
I lost my mother in 1992. A few days ago was the 16th anniversary of her death. It was very hard on all of us to lose her so soon. I would love to have my mother over for Thanksgiving. No we did not always have a harmonious relationship. We almost never agreed on some things. But hey... she came from a different time than I did. Her insecurities and inability to support herself in a descent lifestyle made me what I am today.
I vowed that I would never be as insecure as her. I knew I never ever wanted to be dependent on anyone. Not to say there weren't short periods of time that I did. Thankfully I learned to fight and claw and work and slave to get to a point in my life where I can safely say I can support myself without someone elses help. I owe all of that to my mother.
I never faulted my mother or anyone else for that matter for their beliefs. I feel that we are all entitled to feel as we do no matter how uneducated a belief I may feel that it is. Some people find change hard and next to impossible. They are not comfortable with it. I am. My life is one change, move, event, learning experience after another. They are not always pleasurable. I do feel that in life we should all always strive to improve, better, educate, enlighten ourselves. I think that if you stop growing you are just going backwards.
Now that I have gotten that off my chest I do hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Very tired today. I wanted to post this link that tests your vocabulary and also allows you to help the hungry. It tests your vocabulary skills and with each win they donate rice. This is from the UN World Food Program.
Please check it out..... http://www.freerice.com/
Sunday, November 23, 2008
What a day. It started early as usual. I woke up at 4ish. Daughter #1 wasn't home from work yet so I couldn't go back to sleep. That poor girl had 4 hours sleep in 2 days. I kept thinking I would get a nap. Good thing I didn't try because DH would have woken me up and then I would have been angry. He kept calling for directions.
I did get caught up on last season of the Real Housewives of Orange County. That was fun. What a life these people live. I had my favorite French Onion soup for lunch. I make it myself. Have you priced it in the can? Unbelievable. So I went for broke, cut up onions, probably around 5, chopped up a few cloves of garlic, cooked those in olive oil. Once cooked I put in two containers of beef broth, 3 beef bouillon cubes, cause the broth just doesn't have enough flavor to me. Then I added some Merlot. Yummy. I took crusty French bread, sliced it, put olive oil on it and put it in a skillet to kind of toast it. Throw that bread on top of the soup, lay a slice of Swiss cheese and nuke in the microwave long enough to melt it. Damn good eating. I don't know what the fat, carb, calorie content of that is. Probably why I am still a hog. Oink
Oh well. Tomorrow I really have to get serious about the diet. I hate them. I have to lose some weight and start exercising. When we moved I sold my stationary bike. I wish I hadn't. I could ride that sucker for an hour without hesitation if I had a good book to read. It let me exercise without thinking about it. I know I have got to get off my fat arse and get moving.
Oh well, can you see it? Me laying on the side of the road, gasping and Screaming for Chocolate...
Saturday, November 22, 2008
How ironic..... I write the post about BFF's and this morning I get the word......
Mrs B is going to Iraq. Her DH told her this morning. That means very soon she will go to Houston for two weeks and then zip off to Iraq. I am going to absolutely hate it. HATE IT. We have already started discussing what she needs to take. Of course she will ship it to DH and it will be there when she gets there. Let's see.... there will be several cases of peanut butter crackers, the 1000 thread count sheets, uhhh... I forget the rest. Thank goodness they already have diet coke there. She can't afford to send enough cases of that stuff to keep her going for 4 or more months. She probably won't be home again until next April or May.
I think the hard part will be living with Mr B again. He has been over there for 2 years. When he comes home she is happy but then.... he starts grating at her nerves because she is used to being alone, except for the pooch. That is another thing...leaving the pooch. He has been her baby for 6 years. She is already heart broken thinking about it. When I thought of pooch I felt bad. I had only been thinking about myself.
Pooch will stay with Mrs B's sister. He loves her. Actually wanted to sleep with her when she visited recently. So that part is great. I wanted to be able to keep him. I kept him for a week this summer when Mr and Mrs B went to Mexico when Mr B came home for 2 weeks. My silky terrier was ssssssoooooooo excited that he had someone to play with....NOT. Pooch doesn't like dogs. He likes cats. Things would have been fine except my furry son wouldn't leave him alone. He wanted to play. He doesn't understand why Pooch didn't want to play.
I am sitting here wondering who will be my phone every day friend. Boo hoo..... My "Wild Child" in Tennessee is too busy with her Brady Bunch family. Mrs Quilter in Texas is a really good friend and she sees my complaints in chats but I don't want to scare the woman off. Plus she hasn't gone through similar situations like Mrs B has. Gladys in Louisiana is a good friend. She hears the complaints ever week or two or maybe longer. I don't like to constantly complain. Sometimes I do but just to Mrs B. Gladys and I have other things to discuss. Such as what a wonderful daughter she has.
Mrs B's daughter is possessed. She makes my problem child seem like an angel. Her daughter told her aunt, Mrs B's other sister, that her father was not the father of her or her brother and that her mother was having an affair and spending all Mr B's money he is making in Iraq. She also said that Mrs B won't let Mr B come home. That is just some of it. I think you get the picture.
Anyway, it is going to be hard and I will probably do a lot of Screaming For Chocolate.
Friday, November 21, 2008
I have several BFF's. I have known Mrs B for 10 years. We have gone years without seeing each other, but we rarely go a week without talking to each other. As a matter of fact we rarely go a day without talking. Her DH is in Iraq working for a company. He has been there for two years. It looks like Mrs P will be there soon as well. I don't know how I will survive without speaking to her on a daily basis. I told her she had to learn how to use instant messaging. It will totally suck.....
We are a lot alike in the sense that we are practical, logical, ambitious, etc. We met through work. She was a Supervisor and I was the Admin to that department head and the 8 supervisors there. I liked her right away. My/our boss was so ugly to her. It was pure jealousy. Mrs P has two degrees, is tall, blond and gorgeous. Boss lady was short, fat, immature, had a GED, maybe, and was very mean spirited. If you kissed her ass she loved you. Just an FYI.... I am not an ass kisser. Neither was Mrs P. She loved another Supervisor I will call Mr G. She told me once at lunch that he made her feel so good. I said yes he is a really big brown noser. TeeHee.... I gave him a coffee cup for Christmas that had "Hinelicky Maneuver" on it with a guy saying something very brown nosey. I don't think he thought it was funny. But hell yeah I did.
Back to my BFF...She has weathered some storms and so have I. They were similar and we were there for each other. When I started going through my ordeal it felt good to know the feelings I was having weren't uncommon. She made me feel better because she had felt the same things. It let me know I wasn't a horrible person. Or maybe we were both horrible. LOL...
I have a BFF that lives in KY. We have known each other for around 14 years. I call her "Wild Child", "Santa's Favorite HO HO HO", "Bitch" and "SISTA". Oh and we also call her "Martha Stewart Jr." We have gone through some tough times that is for sure. She has this really bad habit of picking lousy husbands. She married one and had twin daughters. The ass had her put in a mental ward days after getting out of the hospital from a really bad C-section. He went to an attorney and tried to take her house, bank accounts, etc. He thought he would take the kids and get her house, her income and he could lay up on his lazy pot smoking ass. My DH and I had to take off work and get her out. That was a nightmare. Well that ass finally got disability for being mentally unable to handle the stress of an average job. Good thing is she knows she will get a regular check every month from SSI instead of his piddly 325.00 monthly which didn't come close to covering day care for twins. He is a pig and I hate him.
She recently married again after a very short relationship. She had been divorced for probably 9 years. Don't know how that will work out. His wife just died from a very long illness and had been institutionalized for years with it. Yep... they were seeing each other before she passed. He has 4 children at home, an 8K square foot house, loads of credit card debt and 11 cars. She is spending what money she had left from selling her home on groceries every week. She went from her and two kids to a household of 8. Yowza. This one has lots of patience so I am really hoping it works for her. My bud does expect perfection though. You know how that is... ain't happening.
I love her though. She would give you the world. Sometimes I want to choke the living shit out of her but I still love her. I tell her often what a bitch she is.... best buds can do that you know.
I have a BFF that was my bud in high school. We lost touch over the years. Last year I had someone I went to high school with that was two years younger than me, had always had a crush on me, contact me through myspace. I never could place him. I looked in my yearbooks and he wasn't there. It got me to thinking about my friend, code name Gladys, no that isn't her real name. But I did call her that.... I called her parents phone number and low and behold it was her number. When I had to drive to Dallas for a company thing I stopped in Louisiana for a visit with my favorite aunt who was dying and has since passed. I called Gladys and we had lunch together. It was really nice seeing her. Funny how after all these years of not seeing each other, probably more than twenty, that we have so much in common. I love her to death. She is so "matter of fact". No bull shit, no poison, no fluff. I love it. I love her.
I have another BFF that is in Texas. We have never actually met. We chat almost daily on yahoo. She is kinda sorta a relative but not really. I have half brothers on my fathers side. Those half brothers are her half brothers on her mothers side. Confused yet? I told her we need to just tell people we are cousins. It will cut down on the confusion that way.
I will call her Mrs Quilter. She is always making quilts, crocheting blankets for babies. She did some for charity and gave them to victims of those in the hurricanes in Texas recently. She is so sweet, kind, caring, thoughtful. I think she is the kind of person that people think they can run over. I have news for you... she may seem that way because she is so soft spoken but... and my recently departed brother said "She will tell you how the cow ate the cabbage". I often say that people should not mistake my kindness for weakness. You "F" with me and you better run baby run. Actually I am not that vicious but I won't take any crap.
Mrs Quilter is a happy person. She takes her pooch out for walks, is currently living near the beach, I am jealous, and is always doing nice things for people. She is a good friend to have. We chat daily about the good things and bad things. She is good about saying prayers for you, Lord knows I need them. It is nice to have that friendship so available. Her daughter is getting married in August. Me and my brother in Chicago are playing with the idea of going. I would love to see Alaska. He has visited Mrs Quilter in Alaska when she lived there before. But who knows.... that is a long way off.
BFF's are the greatest thing in the world...... They really help me get through my life just being there to listen on the phone... or chat online and when I am Screaming For Chocolate.............
Okay. I am back. I tried putting this blog on my .com but it didn't work. So it will not be on my server until someone (not me) figures it out. I know my way around computers pretty well but sometimes when it involves things like putting your blog on your .com and it says 5 minutes.... it takes me 5 hours. Simply because I don't know what the hell they are talking about. Open mouth.... insert chocolate.
Cutie Tootie and I are listening to music from his guitar. That child loves to dance. He hears music and he starts breaking it down. Swinging those hips. We had a diaper change this morning and two minutes later we had a poo to clean. Hello... too much diaper duty. DH is still in bed. Lucky bastard. I wish I could sleep. But hey... it is after 10:00am.
Did good on the diet thing this morning. I made an omelet with 2 pieces of Canadian bacon, kalamata olives and Italian cheese blend. Probably not the best for a diet but better than some mornings. Hopefully today nothing major will happen to give me an excuse to Stress EAT.
Darling Boy, grandson #1, ended up with 4 stitches. Didn't seem to phase him though. Of course this morning I had to use a cattle prod to get him moving. I explained that this was why he was late the other day and ran into the brick building and cracked his head. I think it is a control thing with him. In the mornings he knows what he has to do but has to be prodded several times to get it done. He moves like a 70 year old. In the evenings I have to peel him off the ceilings. And take a nerve pill or several cocktails.... ahhhh.
Cutie Tootie is going through boxes in my office. No I haven't gotten everything unpacked yet. So shoot me. Can I just get a vacation here? I need a salt water injection. I need the balmy breezes of Southern Florida. I need to go live at Ernest's house in Key West. I want to go back. I went in February. It was great. Except for someone partying all weekend and getting sick and missing three days of work and making me have to sit at my laptop and do their job. I can't believe I didn't stroke out because I was so mad. I mean hello..... We paid almost 300 a night to be there and I didn't want to spend it working. That so sucked. But other than that.... absolutely MARVELOUS.
I took loads of pics. I still haven't read my camera manual. I know it can do so much more than what I use it for. I really need to experiment. I think I want a digital SLR but I am not sure I will know what to do with it. I took one course in college in photography, before digital cameras, and I had a hard time remembering all that f stop stuff. I still have the book. I guess I need to like... you know.... read it again.
But... anyway... I did get a few great shots. Let me know what you think.
I have photos of his writing studio. I loved that they had all his original things in the room just as he had left it. Since there were photos and paintings of it that wasn't hard to recreate. I would kill for that space. It was an upstairs room over an area that is now the gift shop. When I get a chance I will scan in the items I got there for a look see.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Oh bloody hell.....
It has been three months... can't believe it. So I really have had too much going on in my life to even think about losing weight. It has been pure survival mode all the way...
So today was the day. I got up and had my usual couple of cups of coffee loaded with my fav hazelnut creamer and my teaspoon of raw sugar. I had two poached eggs, turkey bacon and one slice of whole wheat toast with Smart Balance. Good job.....
Then... "IT" hit the fan. My darling dear grandson, who was late for school because he couldn't tear his eyes away from Sponge Bob, fell and cracked his head open. Lovely. My darling oldest had to take him to the emergency room while I watch cutie tootie, my youngest grandson. Soooooo I am STRESS eating..........AGAIN.
Little cutie tootie is trotting around with his guitar that plays fun songs such as Love Shack, Thing Called Love and other rock songs...he lovesssssss it. He busted me eating Pringles. He said "eat, eat". He is 21 months old and was 7 weeks premature. So I had to bribe him. I put him in his high chair with goldfish. Shame on me. Well. At least I cooked pancakes this morning for the darling grandsons. I put wheat germ in it to give them that extra something they need.
They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. LOL... I so wanted to be good today. I am currently eyeballing a bag of chocolate covered peanuts. I don't know if I can resist.
Dammit to hell..........I am screaming for chocolate.
Monday, September 15, 2008
There have been recent studies that found sleep deprivation can cause a multitude or symptoms. The most recent and very interesting one I saw showed a young test subject was constantly aroused from deep sleep but not actually woken up. After a short period of time he started showing symptoms of diabetes.
Sleep deprivation can be very catastrophic to your health if it continues for a long period of time. When I say sleep deprivation I am not talking about getting no sleep for days. It can mean not enough sleep each night or it can mean sleeping every night but not really getting the restful sleep that our bodies need.
Getting a good nights sleep has many benefits. In this day and time more people are finding it harder and harder to sleep. I know that I rarely get more than 5 hours of sleep. This makes my days harder get through. Often I can't keep my eyes open. If I make the mistake of getting a nap that can be even worse. I don't know if I am just getting the wrong amount in the nap or what. I often wake up feeling really bad. I think that the chemical your brain releases when you are asleep is affecting me. It may be that I slept too long or not long enough. Either way I call it a sleep hangover and it isn't pleasant.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Sleep Apnea can be very detrimental to your health. I was diagnosed with it 6 years ago. I believe that many people have it and are not aware. I am sure everyone knows someone that snores so loud that it rattles the windows. I don't know that everyone that snores has sleep apnea but in my case it was true.
I had sleep apnea for probably 10+ years before I was diagnosed with it. I had always had sleep issues. As a teenager I rarely slept. This really didn't seem to bother me. I know a lot of that was being young and full of energy and I am sure that all the cola's I drank didn't help. I wasn't aware that cola's had caffeine and would keep you awake.
My ex told me he was concerned about me because I would snore loud and then nothing....silence for a many seconds and then I would start breathing again. I went to a doctor and he acted as if this was nothing. He suggested I sew a tennis ball into the back of my pj's or I could have surgery. The way he said it was so flippant and who wants surgery. I thought it sounded silly and vain to have surgery just because you snored.
Flash forward to almost 10 years later and a new husband...... I remember waking up all the time. I really didn't think anything of it. I never slept in and I was always up late. I remember twice actually sleeping hard and my husband woke me up because he was worried about me since I never slept late. Talk about fury.... how dare he wake me up.
I started slowly gaining weight even though I was very active and ate healthy. It was very frustrating. In 2001 I remember being at work on the computer and dozing off. I was also zoning out when people talked to me. Watching a movie was almost impossible. I would fall asleep and start snoring and the kids would shake me and complain. Basically, if I wasn't going a hundred miles an hour I was passed out. Still I didn't really click that something was wrong.
In 2002 we moved to Florida and my hubby thought I should just stay home for a few months and get things really organized before starting a job search. I was thinking it was going to be wonderful. I would work out and walk and swim ( I had demanded a home with a pool since it was Florida) and get really fit. That didn't happen. I felt worse than I ever had my entire life. I didn't understand it. I would wake up and feel like crap. I was so tired I couldn't really function. I tried taking naps and just ended up feeling even worse.
Finally my husband said you have to go get something done. I went to a doctor and he said I am very certain you have sleep apnea and setup sleep studies. Sure enough I had it. I would stop breathing for up to 30 seconds at a time. Then I had to sleep with a cpap to force air down my nasal passages to keep my passage way from closing up and stopping my breathing.
This really didn't seem to help. I was miserable. Then my husband saw a report on the news about a surgery. I called the TV station and found out where to call. I got the teaching hospital in Tampa. The doctor I saw was great. He said that the cpap wouldn't do any good if the air couldn't get through my tiny nasal passages. I needed RF treatment and surgery.
RF is like a radio frequency that kind of microwaves from the inside out. What it does is tighten the areas which makes passages smaller. I also had my tonsils removed. They shrunk my nasal passages and the back of my tongue. This seemed to help for awhile. Once we moved back to Georgia it rained almost every day. This kept the air cleaner and I actually slept for 6 hours straight without a cpap. I felt better.
Unfortunately, this does not last. You must have these repeated. I also have allergies which makes it hard to breath. I know that I need more RF and perhaps a stronger air flow. I now have another cpap and I can't survive without it. If I make the mistake of not using it when I sleep I feel even worse than I already do.
Check out these links to see if you may suffer from sleep apnea.
If you are diagnosed with sleep apnea please know that there are options to buying your equipment. I purchased mine from the sleep study group. I later found a site that is at least half the price for your equipment. They have many types of models available.