AS THE MIND WANDERS

Last night I was sitting in my chair thinking about subjects to write about in my post. I do this all the time but don't make it to the computer and type it out. I am one of those people that will suddenly think "Why was I thinking about that?" Then I will backtrack to figure it out. Does that make me certifiable?

The GM for the company I do work for was traveling yesterday and stopped for the night in Nachitoches, La. That started me thinking about that lovely place. It is a beautiful town that has brick paved streets and a river running through it. The big claim to fame is that Steel Magnolias was filmed there. I love that movie and I cry every time I see it.

I went to majorette camp there when I was about to be a Junior in high school. I had an absolute blast. It was my first time to be away from home other than sleepovers or staying with family. We had supervision but they weren't up our tails about it. I could smoke without too much trouble. My roomy got homesick. It was embarrassing. She boo hoo'ed like you would not believe. I had to leave the room to keep from laughing out loud. Geez.

Our head majorette was the sweetest person in the world. Her father was a Baptist preacher. He was very nice. She was not allowed to date at all. So she would spend Friday night with me and we would go out and meet friends. But the deal was if she stayed with me I had to stay with her on Saturday night and go to church on Sunday. Her dad was sly like that. Thought if he got that little hellion into church it would change her ways. It didn't.

While eating lunch at camp she put a jalapeno pepper on top of her salad. She thought it was a pickle. She didn't even eat the pepper. The juice that got on her salad sent her into orbit. She kept eating sugar to get rid of the burn. It didn't work. She finally went back to her room to lay down. Honestly....I thought she was a big puss.

Nothing could be hotter than my father's gumbo that he added five different hot sauces to. Umm...he would be close to drunk while making this so you get the drift. If your tongue touched your lips it felt like acid burn. My brother and sister would not eat it. Truth was it tasted good but it was too f'ing hot. My dad was a strange one on that hot sauce. He loved Tabasco. I have seen him put that in his milk, on his eggs and of course other foods. I thought that was way past bizarre.

My mother had her weird food things. She would eat pickled pigs feet. To me that was way beyond gross. I am gagging thinking about it. She would also eat chicken gizzards. I tried one accidentally. Who in the hell wants to try to chew this hard gnarly little organ of a chicken. Then there is cracklings. I think it is very hard parts of bacon skin. She would put that in cornbread. I can see people trying to eat that and having to rush to the dentist with a broken tooth.

I will try most things. I say most not all. I will not try the pickled pigs feet. I won't put Tabasco in my milk. I tried sushi. I don't really care for raw fish. It isn't bad but I don't go yum. I like the California roll. Mostly I love wasabe. I am an addict for that stuff. Talk about opening up your sinus. Watching the specials about the Olympics they showed an enormous variety of things that people eat. It may be delicious but I can't eat snake, scorpions, goat eyes, chicken wattles and cones. Blaaah

I just made myself a mimosa. Yummy. I have Andre extra dry. It doesn't come with a cork that pops off. It unscrews with a plastic cork. I have to say it is a lot easier to open than the traditional cork in champagne. I think if I were alone and had to have a mimosa I would be SOL. I can't get them open. I would be so frustrated. I once dug a cork out of a bottle of wine with a knife because I couldn't find the cork screw. Now I have a fancy smancy one that is so easy. You pull the lever and poof.... it is out. I love that thing. Not that I am a big wine drinker but I do love red wine in my French onion soup.

But I digress. You remember the comment about my crying over Steel Magnolias? Well I also cry during the scene where Shirley McClain is screaming for her daughters meds in Terms of Endearment. I have even cried over a commercial. You know the one. It is where the young soldiers are walking through the airport and everyone starts applauding. Gah. I know. But don't think I am a puss.

In fact the GM I mentioned has told me that I was a Hitler Bitch. I said "Thank you". He also told me I was a machine and I shouldn't expect the people I supervise to be able to do what I do. BS. You are half my age without all the stresses that I have and you can't keep up? Shame on you. I just have a very strong work ethic and I make sure things get done. I am kind of like a trouble shooter and quality control.

I monitor 5 people and all of the clients from a distance. They are in Dallas and I am in Georgia. I was in Dallas for 9 long long months living in a hotel. I had to hire all new staff because they were shutting down the office in Florida. I worked so much that it wasn't funny. I probably averaged 70 to 80 hours a week. We had a lot of turn over of employees that didn't want to work. Ahem. I don't tolerate that.

I hired this one guy and made sure he was aware of what had to be done. I had him and another new hire come in on a Saturday for training before starting on Monday. Well when he sat at that computer and looked at Outlook like it was a foreign language I wanted to scream. Hunt and peck at the keyboard. I calmed myself down and told myself to give him a chance. I took them to lunch and then came back for more training. The other employee was blowing it up. She was awesome.

Finally I took him outside and told him I was very sorry but I didn't think he could handle the job. I needed someone that could hit the ground running. He wanted me to give him a chance and I wish that I could have. I swear I was seeing my life flash before my eyes. This was self preservation. I felt like shit about firing someone the very first day especially when they had quit their other job. But as I said... it was self preservation.

There were others that were totally odd. One thought she knew everything and of course she didn't. Had to fire her. One turned out to be a raving lunatic. She started out great but I kept hearing that she just had her boobs done and was taking vicadin and just got braces. She was in her 40's and I guess she was trying to recapture her youth. She quit via email and I told her I was disappointed and obviously she wasn't the right person for that job. Well.... that did it. She sent nasty emails to everyone in the company. She told them all kinds of lies about me in those emails. They finally had to get an attorney to call her and threaten her if she didn't quit harassing people. She had me scared to walk to my car.

I love the one who after 3 days tells the other people that she has been known to go on strike if she didn't get proper training. That is it. You are fired. Actually, I made the person that they hired to do my job and be my supervisor do it. You got it .... MADE her. Then guess what......I had to fire her, my supervisor.

Okay. I have drank my mimosa. I think I am going to take a very well deserved nap. If you hear a loud noise it is me screaming for chocolate.