MISC MADNESS, FUNNIES, FACTS

I thought I would write this post about miscellaneous things. There have been a lot of silly, crazy, insane, small things going on.

Take work. Please take it. Yesterday my client from hell started her crap again. I have been dealing with this woman since May 2005. She grinds my nerves to pieces and I cringe at the thought of talking to her. She doesn't intimidate me. She is the type that will go on and on and argue and mainly lie to you over and over again. I talked to her 4 times yesterday and each time her story changed. She has a voice that sounds like she has false teeth and smokes 20 packs a day.

It all started with her wanting us to take a company check. We don't do that. She knows that. An exception was made a year or so ago and it bounced. It took us three months to get our money. Yesterday she would not let up. I finally quit taking her calls until she tortured the people in the Dallas office so much that I took pity on them and started accepting her calls again.

When we hear her name you can almost hear a universal groan go through the atmosphere. She is not ugly to us, she doesn't curse us...she is just relentless and argues and argues and never shuts up. She wants what she wants and she won't stop until you finally have to get rude and say this is it and I am hanging up now. Shame. Sad.

This one is funny. I instant message people at work, my boss, a couple of co-workers and a few clients. Well my boss, I love him, but he is young and he is too liberal for my tastes. He doesn't like to reprimand people for being late or other things that would get people fired at a different business. He is the one that called me a machine and Hitler or Nazi. Can't really remember which. I have a different work ethic. Do your work...don't surf and play online when you are getting paid to work.....

He may work 20 hours a week. Maybe. Comes in late, leaves early, has a hangover most of the time. You get the picture. So the Friday after New Years around 2:30 my time he decides to start IM'ing me and asking me questions. I had been IM'ing someone else in the office and I said...."Now he wants to work when everyone is trying to get out of the office early". Big mistake. I IM'd him instead of the other person. He said "eh?" I was mortified. If I were quick on my feet I could have said "just being sarcastic let's go home". Nope. I just said "just a minute I am on the phone". Nothing else was ever said. Me...I couldn't stop laughing.

Good thing for me he is so Liberal. Hope he doesn't read my blog. Sorry Dude.

Lets talk about Big Girl. She is very pretty and very outgoing. She also gets whiplash every other day looking at "hot" guys. She does love to look and play the field. Every now and then she will actually date someone. That is usually over within a week or two. Why? Cause they say something like "I miss you" and other things that indicate they are in a "relationship", "exclusive", "boyfriend & girlfriend". That is the kiss of death.

I think that she is actually "talking" to 3 or 4 right now. She bar tends part time until she gets her Cosmetology License and builds up her clientele. While at work she got a text from one of the guys and it says "I miss you". They have never been on a date. He did come over one night and watched a movie with her. When she read the text she was all "Oh No". The owner asked her what was wrong. She showed him the text and said I could understand that if we had been dating for months or something but we aren't even really dating. He looked at her and said "You are such a dude". She is.

You know what? I am proud of the fact that she doesn't feel the need to be smothered with attention, doesn't sit at home and wait for a phone call. I like that she doesn't "need" a man to fill a void in her life. She has lots of girl and guy friends and she dearly loves hanging out with them. She is not one to dump her friends over a guy.

Well I have probably bored you enough today. Gotta find some chocolate.......

SHE DOES RUN ON........

I have got to pull myself out of my funk. I know it is the season and people have a let down after Christmas but that is not it. I have quite a few reasons to be in this deep pit of despair.

For now I will try to think about the good things, reasons to be thankful. I know that so many other people in this world have a very hard life and a many more reasons to be depressed than I do. I really do have a lot to be thankful for.

However, this uneasiness makes it difficult for me to write. Not that I am a very prolific person. I used to be. I had a professor tell me that I should seriously consider writing as a career. You wouldn't know it by my posts. I think part of that is my business side. I am not saying that this is a business. I am saying that in my line of work I am slammed with emails and send them constantly. I have had to learn to be very professional and to the point.

I have had a few people take offense to my emails. So much so that they felt the need to defend themselves. This usually happens when that person is insecure and/or they know they did not do their job or they feel guilty about something. It is a very fine line that I have to walk sometimes.

It is the same with phone conversations with clients who want to yell and think that if they keep saying the same thing over and over again that it will become true. They are bullies. I don't do well with bullies. I dig in my heels and get stronger. You do not bully me into giving you what you want. If you are nice I may make concessions and exceptions. If you are an ass you will get nothing. If you are a total ass and you are abusive to my account managers then you are gone. History. Out of there.

It doesn't bother me so much when they try to get abusive with me. I can handle it. I have tough skin when it comes to this type of situation. I don't take it personally. They are wrong and I am not. So I let them blow off steam and calm down. Sometimes I yell back. But not in a ugly confrontational way. I yell to be heard, to shut them up, to get them to listen. If that doesn't work I simply say this conversation is getting us nowhere. I advise them that I am going to hang up. Sometimes I tell them when they can talk to me in a proper manner then call back.

Actually, the worst one ever was a woman. She kept screaming and cursing. I told her I had enough. She wanted to know my name. I gave her my first name. She wanted my last. My name is uncommon and it would be very rare for more than one person to have that name. She wanted to report me. I told her please do so. She did. But before that I let her talk to the VP. He ran screaming into the closet. Not really. But close. He was very frustrated by it. She called the president of the company and left him a vmail. She called everyone she could think of.

Guess what.....I canceled her. Yep. Canceled her insurance certificates and she couldn't get a permit. She even called me from the permit office and she could not help herself... she started cursing again...in front of them. Sometimes it feels good to cancel a jackass. I don't expect a client to bow down and praise me like I am the best thing on earth. I expect some modicum of decency. Sometimes it is just a matter of being civil. Some people are so ignorant.

And then you go eat a lot of chocolate.......

Thank you Saucey and Linda for your kind words.......

WHAT DAY IS IT?

Oh right. Monday. Blah... I did not want to work today. Right before going to bed last night I decided to check my computer to see if I had any awesome emails other than the normal "extend your penis" "become rock hard" or "someone has sent you a $1000 gift card". As if.

I heard chewy, grandson #2's current nickname. I listened to him for quite a while until #1 got woke up and went to the bathroom. So I went and got the little chunky butt out of bed. I took him into the kitchen and gave him goldfish and milk. He had a second round of goldfish. You see where I am going here right? Feed him and get him sleepy. Didn't work.

So I let him play in the den for a short period. #1 had glow sticks that were given to him at his party yesterday. And of course they were in the floor, where else would he put them. Next thing I know chunky chewy's shirt was glowing and I was freaking out. I was chasing him all over the den try to get into his mouth to see if he glowed. He didn't. The floor and his shirt did. I found all of them that I could and tossed them in the garbage. That was around midnight.

I finally got him in the bed again. He kept calling for his brother and acting like he was going to start howling. I turned on the light, showed him his brother asleep and under the blankets and tossed him in the bed. He wanted to get up but I kept telling him to lay down and go to sleep like brother. He did... I died.

I get up this morning and low and behold.... I started. I know you don't want all the gory details but it had been two months since my last one and I was so hoping this was it the big Men O Pause..... but it wasn't. I knew that I hadn't been having any hot flashes that I have heard others talk about. Everyone is different though. Damn it.

So one of my account managers called in sick today. That just pissed me off even more. If you can't handle your damn booze well enough to not miss work then don't drink. Then everyone decided they needed to tromp through my office area talking and arguing and crunching potato chips. That was it. The head started spinning, the mouth opened and out came loud..very loud...vulgarities, and threats and more of the same.

I am better now. I will probably have to go to the hospital soon. I think I am about to overdose on sugar. I was so good today..again... and then stress, and period and work got to me. I ...ate...cupcakes. Now I think I am sick. blah........ Oh what the hell. I gotta get them out of the house and right now I tell you. I may crawl into the kitchen and get more. I don't got no chocolate. What do you expect. I am on my period and no chocolate in the house....that is a sin.

Look below....this is how I started this blog this morning telling you how to eat a delicious low carb, low fat breakfast.... I had good intentions....but then isn't that what the road to hell is paved with?

This morning I had a delicious omelet. However, when calculating the numbers the sodium content blew my mind. The culprit is canned asparagus and those tiny three olives... the bastards. I love them. Why can't they be low sodium?

The Ingredients:

1/4 C Egg Beaters

1/4 C Asparagus tips/pieces - You can certainly use fresh but I didn't have any

1/3 C Italian Blend Cheeses

3 Olives of choice - I used Kalamata which are my favorite

Nutritional Value:

Calories 145

Fat 8.5 g

Sat Fat 3.5 g

Sodium 760 mg

Carbs 4.5 g

Protein 14 g

Sugar 1 g

Potassium 90 g

And you can cut this in half and share and serve with a whole grain toast for added fiber.

Quote of the Day "You may never know what results come from your action. But if you do nothing, there will be no result."– Mahatma Gandhi

AS THE MIND WANDERS

Last night I was sitting in my chair thinking about subjects to write about in my post. I do this all the time but don't make it to the computer and type it out. I am one of those people that will suddenly think "Why was I thinking about that?" Then I will backtrack to figure it out. Does that make me certifiable?

The GM for the company I do work for was traveling yesterday and stopped for the night in Nachitoches, La. That started me thinking about that lovely place. It is a beautiful town that has brick paved streets and a river running through it. The big claim to fame is that Steel Magnolias was filmed there. I love that movie and I cry every time I see it.

I went to majorette camp there when I was about to be a Junior in high school. I had an absolute blast. It was my first time to be away from home other than sleepovers or staying with family. We had supervision but they weren't up our tails about it. I could smoke without too much trouble. My roomy got homesick. It was embarrassing. She boo hoo'ed like you would not believe. I had to leave the room to keep from laughing out loud. Geez.

Our head majorette was the sweetest person in the world. Her father was a Baptist preacher. He was very nice. She was not allowed to date at all. So she would spend Friday night with me and we would go out and meet friends. But the deal was if she stayed with me I had to stay with her on Saturday night and go to church on Sunday. Her dad was sly like that. Thought if he got that little hellion into church it would change her ways. It didn't.

While eating lunch at camp she put a jalapeno pepper on top of her salad. She thought it was a pickle. She didn't even eat the pepper. The juice that got on her salad sent her into orbit. She kept eating sugar to get rid of the burn. It didn't work. She finally went back to her room to lay down. Honestly....I thought she was a big puss.

Nothing could be hotter than my father's gumbo that he added five different hot sauces to. Umm...he would be close to drunk while making this so you get the drift. If your tongue touched your lips it felt like acid burn. My brother and sister would not eat it. Truth was it tasted good but it was too f'ing hot. My dad was a strange one on that hot sauce. He loved Tabasco. I have seen him put that in his milk, on his eggs and of course other foods. I thought that was way past bizarre.

My mother had her weird food things. She would eat pickled pigs feet. To me that was way beyond gross. I am gagging thinking about it. She would also eat chicken gizzards. I tried one accidentally. Who in the hell wants to try to chew this hard gnarly little organ of a chicken. Then there is cracklings. I think it is very hard parts of bacon skin. She would put that in cornbread. I can see people trying to eat that and having to rush to the dentist with a broken tooth.

I will try most things. I say most not all. I will not try the pickled pigs feet. I won't put Tabasco in my milk. I tried sushi. I don't really care for raw fish. It isn't bad but I don't go yum. I like the California roll. Mostly I love wasabe. I am an addict for that stuff. Talk about opening up your sinus. Watching the specials about the Olympics they showed an enormous variety of things that people eat. It may be delicious but I can't eat snake, scorpions, goat eyes, chicken wattles and cones. Blaaah

I just made myself a mimosa. Yummy. I have Andre extra dry. It doesn't come with a cork that pops off. It unscrews with a plastic cork. I have to say it is a lot easier to open than the traditional cork in champagne. I think if I were alone and had to have a mimosa I would be SOL. I can't get them open. I would be so frustrated. I once dug a cork out of a bottle of wine with a knife because I couldn't find the cork screw. Now I have a fancy smancy one that is so easy. You pull the lever and poof.... it is out. I love that thing. Not that I am a big wine drinker but I do love red wine in my French onion soup.

But I digress. You remember the comment about my crying over Steel Magnolias? Well I also cry during the scene where Shirley McClain is screaming for her daughters meds in Terms of Endearment. I have even cried over a commercial. You know the one. It is where the young soldiers are walking through the airport and everyone starts applauding. Gah. I know. But don't think I am a puss.

In fact the GM I mentioned has told me that I was a Hitler Bitch. I said "Thank you". He also told me I was a machine and I shouldn't expect the people I supervise to be able to do what I do. BS. You are half my age without all the stresses that I have and you can't keep up? Shame on you. I just have a very strong work ethic and I make sure things get done. I am kind of like a trouble shooter and quality control.

I monitor 5 people and all of the clients from a distance. They are in Dallas and I am in Georgia. I was in Dallas for 9 long long months living in a hotel. I had to hire all new staff because they were shutting down the office in Florida. I worked so much that it wasn't funny. I probably averaged 70 to 80 hours a week. We had a lot of turn over of employees that didn't want to work. Ahem. I don't tolerate that.

I hired this one guy and made sure he was aware of what had to be done. I had him and another new hire come in on a Saturday for training before starting on Monday. Well when he sat at that computer and looked at Outlook like it was a foreign language I wanted to scream. Hunt and peck at the keyboard. I calmed myself down and told myself to give him a chance. I took them to lunch and then came back for more training. The other employee was blowing it up. She was awesome.

Finally I took him outside and told him I was very sorry but I didn't think he could handle the job. I needed someone that could hit the ground running. He wanted me to give him a chance and I wish that I could have. I swear I was seeing my life flash before my eyes. This was self preservation. I felt like shit about firing someone the very first day especially when they had quit their other job. But as I said... it was self preservation.

There were others that were totally odd. One thought she knew everything and of course she didn't. Had to fire her. One turned out to be a raving lunatic. She started out great but I kept hearing that she just had her boobs done and was taking vicadin and just got braces. She was in her 40's and I guess she was trying to recapture her youth. She quit via email and I told her I was disappointed and obviously she wasn't the right person for that job. Well.... that did it. She sent nasty emails to everyone in the company. She told them all kinds of lies about me in those emails. They finally had to get an attorney to call her and threaten her if she didn't quit harassing people. She had me scared to walk to my car.

I love the one who after 3 days tells the other people that she has been known to go on strike if she didn't get proper training. That is it. You are fired. Actually, I made the person that they hired to do my job and be my supervisor do it. You got it .... MADE her. Then guess what......I had to fire her, my supervisor.

Okay. I have drank my mimosa. I think I am going to take a very well deserved nap. If you hear a loud noise it is me screaming for chocolate.